Monday, December 28, 2015

Facing the Future

I've studied human growth and development and I know that I'm in Ericson's life stage Ego integrity vs. despair. Soon, I'll be turning 67. Right now, I am well. I usually don't feel old. But, I'm married to a man who is 10 years older than I. In the past 10 years, he's had 4 surgeries and dealt will having to undergo kidney dialysis. I've watched him go from a healthy, vibrant man who walked 4 miles a day and did yoga to a frail, old man who must use a walker to safely cross the room.  Right before my eyes, he's gone from a muscular 180 lbs. to a pitiful 135 lbs. If tried my best to help him through his trials. I know he's grateful to have me. We've been together 46 years!

I see the widows at church, sitting alone in their pews. I think to myself, I won't go back and sit like they do. Facing the future when one is no longer young requires courage, I think. While none of us knows what lies around the next bend, those of us who are the elders have a pretty good idea that it isn't going to be fun and games.

Right now, I'm close at hand to tend to the needs of my husband. But, I have my escape handy. I am so thankful for the Internet. It helps me so much. I can go there and meet new people, yet be physically present to dispense the medications and take care of our daily needs. I've met some wonderful people and made some dear friends on Twitter and Facebook.

So, right now, I'll face the future by being present for my husband, my family, and myself.

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